How Frightened of Conflict Are You?

March 21, 2014 @ 2:50 pm by ACT

How Frightened of Conflict Are You?

Excerpt from “The Coward’s Guide to Conflict”

Believe it or not, the vast majority of people you meet hate conflict. They run from it, they hide from it, they even pretend it doesn’t exist. There are more conflict cowards out there than there are people who like conflict. That’s the good news; you are not alone. Unfortunately, that is the bad news, too. We are frightened of conflict, and avoiding conflict usually ends up in even more destruction, conflict, and pain. So, how frightened of conflict are you? Do you just have a mild aversion to it or are you a full-blown conflict coward (like I was for most of my life)? Here is a test to help you answer that question.

Assign each of the statements below a number between 1 and 5:

1= I never act or feel this way

2= I act or feel this way on rare occasions

3= I sometimes act or feel this way

4= I often feel or act this way

5= You got me. Fits me to a tee

I hold in my real feelings when I am upset with someone because I don’t want to hurt him or her.

Your Rating:________

I rarely disagree with my boss (or your last boss if you do not have one now.

Your Rating:________

It is easier for me to ignore it when someone upsets me than to tell them what I feel.

Your Rating:________

I hate going to the store to return something even if there is something wrong with it.

Your Rating:________

I never blow up, but I often feel depressed and sad

Your Rating:________

What I get mad at someone, I start avoiding him or her.

Your Rating:________

I think that it is terrible to disagree with others.

Your Rating:________

I say that I am sorry to end an argument even when I think that I did not do anything wrong

Your Rating:________

If  you rated these statements with mostly 4’s and 5’s, then following the principles in this book will make your life easier.