Conflict and Listening

March 12, 2015 @ 10:53 am by ACT

• Conflict is not always intentional
• Conflict is not always dramatic
• People do not always tell you when they are in conflict with you
• Many times our communication challenges impact us in both home and work
• Listening with the wrong style can cause conflict

Appreciative listening

Individuals in appreciative listening mode are listening in order to enjoy the listening experience. The focus is to relax while they are listening. Appreciative listeners are motivated by enjoyment. This is appropriate at times, such as when you are hearing a joke or story, at a concert, or at another pleasurable activity. The problem is that appreciative listening can cause one to tune out someone’s problem if it is not of interest to them.

Empathic listening

Individuals in the empathic listening mode are listening in order to support the person speaking. Their focus is to show concern for the person talking. Empathic listeners are motivated by their desire to impact the person talking by providing them an opportunity to express their feelings. Again, there is no right or wrong empathic listening, but rather there are situations that naturally call this type of listening. Someone who is not looking for empathic listening may be annoyed by the nodding and care shown another if they are using the empathic listening style.

The other three listening styles are discussed in The Coward’s Guide to Conflict, followed by exercises to show when and how to use each one.